When you hear a childhood story, what do you think about? Do you picture; some friends playing, kids laughing, going on a trip, or maybe a boy/girl playing with their first puppy? Well this is my childhood story and it will not be what you think about.
Hello world, this blog is a very personal one for me. I’m really starting this page for helping others and talk about my personal voyage on the ancient path of my ancestors, Norse heathenism. But this blog, is about my personal story, one that I’m not really shy about, one that I believe should be shared with others….
I’m Andrew Hendrickson, and from Colorado, born and rise here. I’m now almost 32 years old and I did work at a local hospital as a Laboratory Support Technician (a phlebotomist) for about nine years now. Meet tons of great people, both as the patients and co-workers, but just the other week I was drawing blood from a patient. I was talking to her daughter about many things and then I was telling her about my childhood. About how I did not give up on life nor become another statistics of child abuse. After I was finished with my story she told me that I really should be sharing it with everyone. So that is why I’m doing this blog, is to share my personal story and I hope it will give others hope for a better future too, and for whose never was battered or never knew someone was, I just hope that you will help when help needed.
Abuser sometime don’t stop with the little ones, they sometime beat their partner, so this is more to help with domestic abuse. The Abuser can be anyone (male, female, mom, dad, wife, husband, girlfriend, boyfriend, son, daughter, grandmother, grandfather, uncle, aunt, young, old, teachers, etc.), but one thing is clear, and that is fathers, boyfriends, and/or husbands are not only the abuser but they can be the victim too. The true hope that I wish people will do cause of this blog is this. GUYS IF YOU SEEN SOMEBODY BEING ABUSE BY SOMEONE, HELP THEM, DON’T WALK AWAY, DON’T TURN AWAY, DON’T SAY “IT IS NOT MY PROBEM,” HELP THEM STAND FOR THEM. But be smart about it too, like call the cops, or just say to them (abuser) ‘stop.’ That might be enough to either really stop them or get the victim to understand that he/she needs help.
Well, here is my story, I really hoping that its help someone, but I had block some of my childhood out so this is only part of my true abuse story…
It all started in the 80’s, when I was four years old, I think, and went on until I was 12 or so. And at the same time my brothers, my sister, and my mom were abused too, it was not just me who was abuse. My mom meet my first stepfather, Steve, when I was three years old, at a church event, and at first he was all nice to us. But soon after we move out of my grandma’s house and into his house up in the mountains, the abuse began with yelling, and striking us for the smallest things. This change was slow and he will make up lies about why he yelled and/or stroked us, like he was having a bad day at work or other reasons.
The first major event for me was about when my mother or him buy me an Ant Farm, and on the second day or so (and I was like five years old), I overfeed them. Well, he freak out or just got so piss off, and beat me, he beat me until my butt was cherry red. My butt hurt so bad that I could not sit on it for a few days. Well, he calm down, and told my mom that he was very sorry and he just had a very bad day at work, and that he also had car problems. Mainly he told her that he will never get piss off like that again or hit me again. (This is a big thing in most cases of domestic abuse, that the abuser will calm down says that it will never happen again or they are sorry, and lie about why/how it happen.)
Well, for a few years, that’s how it was like, he will get piss off and he will calm down and said sorry. He moves us all to the plains of Colorado, and there where the abuse progress fast and severe. He made up stories about why he is like this and that he will go get some help to stop, because he really loves her. During a winter storm my sister asks to be pick up, and at this my mother just starting to drive so she cannot drive too good. But Steve made her to drive there and she got his truck stuck in the snow. So Steve took a snow shovel and try to hit her with it, so we went a friend’s house for a night and then to a Safe House in Colorado Springs for about week than we move back with him, after he started some classes.
In 1993, it went from bad to worse, it change my life forever. I was to feed and water our dogs and cats but my mom told me to wait until after she got home from work to feed them. But he got back home before my mom did, and he was so piss off, that he was yelling like a mad man and went after me. I was stupid, I should have got on my bike and ride away, but I did not. I try to climb on top of a pig enclosure, but he caught me and started to kick me. The bastard weight about 250 to 300lbs and I’m like 90lbs, but he kick me six times, hard he kick me six times. After the six kicks to my left leg, he seizes my arm and tossed me down to the ground. I felt something wrong with my leg, the pain was awful, but he was just yelling at me to get up and go inside. I was trying to tell him that something is wrong with my leg but he forces me to walk on it not once but twice. The first time I collapse and he just seized my arm and pick me back up and say to walk again, but after the second time I collapse, he apprehend something is really wrong.
He driven me to the hospital, and we found out my leg was broken. He made me lie to the doctors about what happen, we give two different stories, first one was that I was playing on top of a hay pile fall off and broke my leg. Then the other story was that I was playing on top of the pig enclosure, and fall off but as I was falling, foot become trap into the enclosure fracturing leg. (He changes the story because the first did not fully describe how my leg becomes broken.) But I lie to them because the fear of him was powerfully, if I was stronger or smarter than I will face the fear and told the truth. I spent a month or so in the hospital and some more time in a full body cast.
But the time leading up to that event, my sister and I was beaten almost every other day or so. Like I believe it was the Christmas before the event, Steve bought me a race track set and a train set. As the neighbor babysitting us, he seen the race track set and wants to play with it, so he open it up and start to put it together. I was keep on telling him that Steve does not want it open yet, but he told me that he was the babysitter and I have to do what he says. Well, as he was setting it up, Matthew (old of my brother) was trying to show him a truck that he got for Christmas, as my brother was showing him the toy, he accident drop it onto the track and break part of it. The babysitter just put set back in the box and when Steve got home, the babysitter, didn’t reveal about the track set, he just went back home. Well, because I was too fright to say anything about it, Steve saw the box was open and he begun to look it as I was trying describe why the box was open. But, it was too late, he grab me by my arm and start to beat my butt again, but this time he beat it as swing me by my arm, to my bedroom then toss me onto my bed. But that’s not it, he thenceforth grab me again and repeat it again to the living room and again to the bedroom (with tossing me onto my bed) and he repeat this eight or more times.
He told me after this beating that he will take back the train set and the race track set, because I’m too irresponsible to have them. My sister, for some odd reason, he went after too, but not as bad as I did, but still, he jumps her too. After a few hours, before he have to pick up my mom from work, he told us (my sister and I) to pack our bags because he is tired of us and he wants us out of his house. As he went to pick her up, he drops us off at an abandoned farm house (on the plains where no other homes at, for miles and miles). We was scare to death (almost) and alone, with no food and water, and no place to go to, we did not know where we was at or anything. (late after this event, during the summer time, I begun to explore the whole area for about 10 miles on my bike or horseback) But after a hour or so, he came back with our mom to pick us up again, with a warring about not doing it again or he will drop us off and never pick us on again.
So by the time of my broken leg incident, my mom was trying to get out of there (with us), but it was difficult, just because Steve move us away from our family. So she move out months after I recover from the broken leg, at first she tries to take us too, but Steve fight back and the courts orders Steve to custody us. I will have to say this about that time (timeframe when my mom was not living with us, about a few months), it was too dreadful, because he was playing the nice guy for the courts and for everyone else. He know how to play this game, I do meant it is easy to play the courts, just be nice for some time and wait until the other person make an error, in which he did but my mom only error she made is moving back in with him.
The storm subsides for a little period, well the truth is about this time things are hazier. I just cannot reminder too much about this period. I knew the courts order Steve to move out to his friend’s house cross the road from us. One time, the friend cross the road own rifle, at night time with a friend of mine was staying the night over. We was getting ready for bed when he notice a red dot, he believe it was a red laser from a rifle (he knew of Steve too), he pull me down to the floor and then I notice it too after I hit the floor. The dot remains there for a minute of two, then it start to move downward a little and then just vanish. So after it vanish we went to my mother and her boyfriend (my stepfather now), and they call the police, to them it was only in our dream, just because it was night time. A few days later my grandfather move in for some time to help watch the house and us, because we believe that Steve will try to kill us or just my mom and my grandfather.
Days after the red dot event, our neighbors, both next to us and same one across the road, was away watching our house and us too. My grandfather begun to train us to hit the ground when we hear a gunshot, and he also bought my mom a handgun just in case. The neighbors around us believe in Steve, they all believe that Steve was a great teddy bear, someone who will never hurt anything. They will do anything for him, and they just hate my mom and maybe us too. They all believe Steve’s lies of that my mom was the abuser, that she hits him and beat us, and that is the same lies he told the courts too. But the they all have guns, so we have enemies around us with weapons and we lives miles away from any towns too. But lucky the only bad thing happen between us was, they injured one of our horses by using wires.
After more problems with Steve we went back to the Safe House again, this time we stay longer and after it we move into the city, Colorado Springs, where my mom continue to fight Steve in the courts. He gain the upper hand by using the neighbors against us and by using our failed to report Steve of abusing our dogs. A year or so before he broke my leg, we got a dog from someone he knows, but that dog just hates Steve (to be honestly, that dog just hates almost everyone, but me for some reason and maybe my mother too). Steve put him on a log chain that dig into his neck, and with the battle between Steve and the courts, fighting for custody over us, the neighbors watching us, and the everything else that we all going through turning him in for animal abuse was not at the top of the list. But don’t get I wrong now, she was planning on turning him in but only after she won the custody battle first, and we could just remove the chain because Steve will get very piss and we did not want that. Anyway, Steve turn her in for abusing the dog, ‘his dog’ (which was a lie, he was mine dog but I just could not remove that chain, like I say before, Steve will get very piss off, and I was a cowardly, well I just did not want to get my leg broking again or worst, so say what you want to, what will you do?). My mother was sent to jail for several months, and we was sent to foster care for six months.
After we move back with our mother from the foster home, things calm down, but courts was still after my mom. When Steve starts pay for child support, the courts took it. They told my mom that it is for paying back for the food stamps (which we was on for a few months) and for the cost of foster care. So another words my mom seen none of his child support, and that put us in debt, which we are still in debt, we are still poor. I had to go to psychology therapy, for the abuse (which the courts did not believe really happen), to see if there was any abuse. Which after a few weeks or months and therapist gives his and hers reports to the courts, and states at we was abuse. They also told our mother that my sister and I will be in jail by eighteen. I never got arrest and my sister did but they drop it.
I’m now almost 30 years old and work at a local hospital as a Laboratory Support Technician (a phlebotomist) for about nine years now. My sister now has two sons and a daughter, one of my brothers has two sons, and my other two brothers are kind of too young for having kids. And me, I have none and still single, which I choose it, I’m too scare to start a family, I dread that I become like Steve. I also support my mother (who has a bad back, due to falling off a horse, and it is very painfully for her to work), my stepfather, Rick (who was in a few car accidents, so he cannot work), and I did support my brothers all of them. Like I say before we are very poor, living from pay check to pay check.
In many ways that abuse mess my life up, like the debt problem, I had many dreams but now I just cannot do any of them, for the cost. (my family comes first) I also have a bad leg, which some days it is difficult to walk on due to the pain, and now my right eye is having problem. My doctor believes it was cause from the abuse. But Steve, he is living the good life, owns his house, planning on owning a nursing home soon. He did not have to paid any of the court cost, my mom was force to paid for him. He got all the money from our old house, which should spilt with my mother, and he sold all of our horses to his friends. Which he kept all that money too, and so he got out of this thing great and my family and I, we got shit on.
I’m sorry that it was so long but it is a story.